40 Lessons at 40: Lesson 26

40 Lessons at 40

Lesson #26

By Venus Souls

Fear looks like this.

When I look back to reflect upon the opportunities I had missed and the uncompleted projects or the journeys I backtracked on, I know that the only reason was fear.

Fear looks like a heart pumping with dread. It looks like visions of failed version of you, slumped in a corner, grieving the loss of a piece of itself.

Fear feels like shrinking. One minute you’re open to life and all its possibilities, the next you’re locked tight shut, 2 inches long, unable to breathe, speak or hear anything above your own pumping heartbeat.

“For it is not what happens to me that makes me great, but it is what I do.” 

— Søren Kierkegaard

Fear is the ultimate shapeshifter. It can take the shape of your parents or your teacher. It can look like your boss or the debt collector. It can even look like God.

But when you finally grab the courage to sit down with it and listen to what it’s trying to say, you realise that fear has been given a really bad rep and all it really intends is to keep you alive.

Fear is like that awkward friend who loves you so much and just wants to hangout with you wherever you go and because it has saved your life on numerous occasions, you simply don’t have the heart to tell it to get lost. 

Instead you try to train your courage muscle and swallow that lump in your throat each time fear starts screaming DANGER! and try to steady your heart before it leaps out of your chest. You ask a friend to hold your hand through it and fear suddenly calms down and realises it’s not needed in that moment.

You see, fear is loudest and most deafening when the support is lacking. When the support is lacking, courage is nowhere to be found to face the fear. We imagine that no one cares or that we are unworthy and undeserving of support and that fear is right; that we should stop what we are doing and go back to where it was safe and comfortable. The road ahead is treacherous and there are wild beasts waiting to devour you in the form of failure and disease.

Coaches will ask you, what if you knew you could never fail, what would you do then?

You imagine the things that you would accomplish, the projects you would complete, the life you would have…

Most importantly, you would imagine the love you would experience because success somehow equates to worthiness of love.

Instead, we should ask, what would we do if we knew we would always be loved, no matter how our endeavours end and what the results were? What if we knew we were loved unconditionally? How much more could we accomplish?

The antidote to fear is not courage. The only antidote to fear is love. Fear is simply a messenger trying to tell you that in this moment you’re about to embark on something new, you’re going to need an extra dose of love and support from those who love you unconditionally.

So next time someone asks you for your support, know that what they’re really asking from you is to dissipate their fears. You may not agree or like what they’re doing but that is not what they’re asking of you. You may not know or understand what they’ve been called upon to do but that’s irrelevant. You’ve just got to hold their hand and SHOW them they have nothing to be afraid of because your love is unconditional. 

Love overpowers fear every time. Love is the greatest creator of all. 

But what about those  of us on the fringe. The recluses, the rebels, the misfits, the ones who see things differently… where do they go to find love?

They don’t.  Love for the dream that overpowers all else is what keeps them going. Love for the purpose, for the service, for the destiny. Love for the people who are waiting for them to get to the other side of fear is worth the leap of faith, worth the cuts and bruises, the sacrifices, the sweat and the blood. 

Those are the ones who God loves the most. 


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Posted by thesoulsurgeon

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