3 Reasons Why You’re Not Keeping the Weight Off

By Venus Souls

Nothing is more common or infuriating than losing the extra weight that’s been bugging you for years only to put it all or some of it back on. The sly thing happens so slowly so that you don’t notice it until it’s too late. Suddenly your favourite pair of jeans don’t fit anymore. Before you know it, you have an entire wardrobe of beautiful outfits that don’t fit,  you’ve thrown out your ‘fat clothes’, and you most certainly aren’t going to buy a new wardrobe because goddammit you ARE going to lose that weight again and fit right back into your sexy clothes!

Except a week, a month, a year passes by and you still don’t.

In this blog post, we will explore the 3 main reasons why.

Change requires everything that any meaningful and lasting relationship requires:  100% commitment, focus and active participation.

Are you where you thought you would be by now?

You do not have to believe in the Law of Attraction to agree with the one statement that I believe goes undisputed. Even the staunchest of sceptics cannot refute this statement. You could even call it a law. If we put it into context of two other laws; namely, the Law of Inertia and Newton’s Law of Motion, it becomes a natural conclusion that nothing in our lives will change unless we change from within.

When it comes to making changes to our physical appearance through weight loss and/or muscle gain, the intricacies involved in applying this law become most apparent. Our relationship with change, very much like any of our other relationships, goes through these natural stages:

  1. The Rosy Stage: This is when we are at our peak of self-motivation. We are in love with the idea of a slimmer, slenderer, healthier, sexier, fitter version of ourselves. We can already see the different outfit possibilities and how we’re going to dress to impress. In fact, we already have a stock of ‘when-I-lose-the-weight’ clothes waiting at the bottom of our closets well before the official countdown has begun.
  2. The Uh-Oh Stage: This is the wobbly stage of any relationship. We start to see the faults in our methods. We are not seeing the results we wanted or they’re not happening as fast as we were hoping they would. We slip. Then we fall. Our minds tell us: it’s just not working out. It’s too hard. We were not designed for this type of change and we tell ourselves the stories that affirm this limiting belief: it’s not you; it’s me.
  3. The Limbo Stage: it’s a limbo because you haven’t quite given up yet but neither are you fully committed to this relationship. You are adopting often random methods of trial and error that more times than not end in error but you keep trying them again in hope that something magical will somehow happen and the results would be somewhat different. Sadly, this is never the case. Nor is it the case that going into a relationship with Change half-heartedly will ever yield any long – or even short – term lasting results.

Change requires everything that any meaningful and lasting relationship requires:  100% commitment, focus and active participation.

Like any relationship, our relationships with our bodies, with food and the change we want to see are governed by the same rules that determine the success of any relationship: fulfilling our needs in a healthy way and the hope that it, too, will cooperate and fulfil ours. We want our bodies to get used to the healthy habits we are trying to instil and avoid the ones that keep us unhappy and unsatisfied.

Unfortunately, we often find ourselves repeatedly in the very situations we are trying to avoid. How often do we tell ourselves that we will commit to working out 3 times a week but it just doesn’t happen. Our mind produces reels of excuses and justifications that even you can’t – or won’t – argue with and giving up and staying where you are for one more day is the ‘safest’ option. 

Why is this happening?

It is not our brain’s fault: it has been designed to protect us. Once upon a time emotional eating served a purpose: food was a vehicle of comfort, perseverance or protection. Our behaviour became so conditioned to use food as a  coping mechanism, it became an autopilot response whenever we felt a slight trigger of fear or anxiety or even boredom. The only way to alter this condition is through reconditioning the brain. 

Reconditioning the brain is, of course, easier said than done. That is why many get liposuction or use so called weight loss pills to help them overcome their bodies rather than their negative thought and behavioural patterns. This never works even if it yields initial temporary success. If the behavioural habits are still there, the weight will come back.

When it comes to weight loss, it is often the triggers that veer us off our plans. Here are the 3 main things that happen when we fall off our horse and which simply being aware of is absolutely vital:

1.We fall into a lower standard mind-set:

Unless our focus is strongly set on our target and the purpose behind it, we fall into a lower mind-set that panders to our fears. This results in our burnout and inability to fight or ward off these thoughts. The fall is often slow and sly and gives the false impression that it is irreversible. We no longer have the strength of commitment to our outcomes that we displayed at the beginning of our commitment and we slip back into doing what we usually do.

2. We lose our focus:

Focus is the superpower you need to gain or lose anything. If you want results, you must tackle the inner conflicts that are diffusing or distracting you from your focus. Focussing on our negative narratives and excuses even for a short amount of time has an impact on the outcome. You need to remain obsessively focussed on achieving your desired outcome and this means overcoming your limiting narratives and beliefs.

3. Our why isn’t strong enough:

You may say to yourself that your why for weight loss is usually to look better or feel fitter and healthier but is your reasoning deep enough to keep you on track? If it were, you would not have lost track to begin with. Our purpose for creating change needs to go further and deeper in order to have lasting power. When our motivation to lose weight is because part of our identity is to be active and outgoing, we commit to a particular standard that is not only concerned about appearance but to also having a strong will and sense of self-determination. 

Our sense of self worth plays an integral role in determining our success. When our goal for losing weight is to fit into a wedding dress or bikini in the summer season, it indicates a faltering sense of self worth that is more concerned with outer appearance than inner vitality. 

Your body will do whatever you program your mind to do. Keeping your standards high and your whys deep and meaningful will make the difference between short-term and long-term change.

Here’s the bottom line: if you put in 90% effort in the hope you will get 100% results, you’re fooling yourself. For real, lasting change, you must put in 150% effort to achieve 100% change. The surplus in effort is what creates any change you’re seeking to achieve. Adequate effort is simply not good enough. Your way of thinking and the steps you take on a daily basis will ultimately create the change you are seeking. It is inevitable; it is the law.

Here is another essential truth that you will hear a lot but choose to ignore: the secret to a happier and healthier body is self compassion. If this idea sounds alien to you then this is your first clue you need a life coach to help you achieve healthy physical, mental and emotional fitness. A balance in all these areas is the key to a long lasting, fulfilling life.


Posted by thesoulsurgeon

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